Chocolate Bear's Journal

random drama lmfao

2008-08-15T23:47:09Z

I am so disappointed! I am totally going to ban <lj user="sea_serpent"> from commenting in my LJ for what they said about <lj user="shirt_twin"> and <lj user="future_mirai">!!!!

This entry automatically generated by the <a href='http://triggur.org/ljdrama/'>LJ Drama Generator</a>!

meh

2008-07-20T17:34:41Z

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

the end.

Part one: She as I see

2008-01-05T05:56:29Z

She as I see

Part one
She always had little tricks and she was very sneaky and intelligent behind her overly innocent exterior. From the way that she acted everyone assumed she was a half-wit, drunken off of her own stupidity and hyperactive beyond belief. In truth she only seemed that way and that was part of her brilliance, or perhaps, her curse. She hid behind her facade as best she could, a smile and a nod of the head was all she needed to convince someone of her innocence, she secretly manipulated people without them knowing. On the outside she seemed the normal girl, hung up over men and scared to be shunned away, she felt ugly and mocked and was loud and obnoxious at times. And everyone liked to pick on her. In a way, she was a bit of a masochist but whilst being a sadist, her whole existence constantly contradicted itself. On the inside she was completely different. Her thoughts were vast, on various subjects such as sexism, the judiciary system, and the lack of money in her household. To outsiders, she remained oblivious as they wanted, but slowly, she was burrowing her way into them and learning to control them as puppets. Some of the following are examples.
    ~She was nice. So nice that even the people who bullied her felt downright rotten because of the way she stood there and took it and then eventually broke down into sobs. She always took everything she got with minimal complaining and she was ALWAYS optimistic. She constantly made friends with the outcasts and made them feel like they belonged, she was kind to them, listened to their problems whilst subtly concealing her own. They assumed she had no problems with the way she took theirs onto her shoulders with complete disregard as to how it was visibly wearing at her insides, and thus they trusted her with a trust that was so deep and strong that it could never be broken.
    ~She was lenient, when people played jokes on her that were cruel and unkind, things that would hurt normal people to their very core, she would laugh it off and forgive them no matter what they did or who it was.
    ~She was understanding and knew how to make people feel like they were more important than anything else on the entire planet.
----
And thus she could control people with ease. With her facade as a carefree attitude and her little lies of how she felt to make people trust her on top of the friend making skills she had already allowed her easy manipulation of those around her. She made people believe she was lying when she wanted them too and held a straight face when she wanted no one to know. She easily got people to trust her and tell her the things she wanted to know, whilst revealing the minimum about herself, and she buried her way into their hearts. All she had to do was put on her innocent facade, ask in the sweetest voice she could muster, and it was hers. It was simple, yet it took her years to achieve the feat of utter trust in one person. She knew it was cruel and she supposed on some deeper level they were actually her friends but she trusted no one no matter how much they trusted her and thus the facade had been made in the first place. As those are examples of her trickery there are also examples of her sneakiness.
    ~She was smart. Every room she went into, she knew a back door out of it, whether it be a window or a hole of some sort. She always tested the ways out and she wouldn't stay in a room too long if it didn't have one. She was always analyzing everything to help her achieve this.
----
Her intelligence was indeed a mighty foe. Her words were her skill, sharpened and honed for both attack and defense if needed. She could get her self out of tight situations with them. And she checked everything before hand. She often snuck on her mother's laptop at ungodly hours in the morning and so she had to be prepared to be as silent as possible. She studied her surroundings for a year before she took action. She noticed that if you hit keys on the keyboard in certain spots they'd still work but they be silenced, as did the mouse. She would mute the computer's sound as she got on and un-mute it as she got off. She often waited till it became twelve in the morning before she got on so that there would be a new day of history and she'd be able to delete the entire folder instead of picking it out from the rest of the day. She figured out that if she opened the door knob at random intervals, as if going to the bathroom, then she could discover if anyone was awake and when she locked the door it made a small clicking noise so she muffled it by holding the knob down and locking it before closing the door. The lock also only opened by completely opening the door, which made a loud squeaking noise. She figured out that by placing one finger in front of the lock, she could give it a quick turn and unlock it with out making noise. She realized that by turning on the fan and drying recently washed clothes it would drown out any other noise that she may have made and she constantly got away with it. She truly is an evil mastermind, it's quite disturbing how thoroughly she thinks thing through.

more me

2008-01-04T19:52:25Z

This constant warring inside my head is beginning to drive me mad. It's so difficult to express myself to others outwardly whilst I spout such outlandish lies. I can only truly show myself through writing and that is why it's so precious to me. My mind has such completely different personalities it's hard to even know what I am feeling any more. My feelings are so vastly different on a subject. My emotional part feels some things whilst my inner self is calculating ways to exploit it and I am slowly torn in half. This war in my mind has drained me of the true comprehension of feelings. I think it must hurt me. But at the same time I am too numb to know if it actually does.

things about me

2008-01-04T00:05:10Z

I was in an rp, feeling a bit sad and I wound up saying the truest description about me that could be said.

"If an actor does things around certain people for long enough the actor begins to believe the act is true. Following the act when you really feel different on the inside is actually like developing a split personality. Because when you're around people you act and that act becomes your outward personality. But by your lonesome when the true you comes out, that's also a personality. With personalities such as mine what room is there for anything. My soul is at constant war, the personalities being so different they're always fighting. For me there is no peace, only the calm in between battles. It can be said that someone knows me, and that can be true on some level. But you do not truly know me, until you have heard all the thoughts that have reverberated in my skull, and all the thoughts that will."

blac_rainfall @ 2007-11-21T20:30:00

2007-11-22T01:32:32Z

Because I currently don't know what I'm doing and wish to post to the RxL community I need to discover how to type things.
This is all so annoying and I have to keep typing to see if the experiment works!!! -FACEPALM-

Gaia Profile

2007-11-21T16:54:38Z

If you watch Death Note I feel like destroying your mind with my gaia profile. I should stop with the icons shouldn't I?
http://gaiaonline.com/profiles/?u=5876923

*Is just a little obsessed* O>o

poem

2007-11-17T22:54:35Z

When the world starts to panic, and the Earth starts to shake,
everyone begins to pray
their blind beliefs and utter faith, how it sickens me
and at the same time i wish I could have something to believe in,
that gives me hope and happiness
but what is done here will be undone, the passing comes and those who are lost...
they will stay lost for ever
I believe in tragedy and romance
lust and love and angst and
treachery
because these are all human things
how I wish I wasn't one of them
For humans create
and to create is to destroy, to destroy is to create
chaos upon chaos, dreams shatter
the world cries out in pain
we do not hear
we lost that ability when we started to kill it
kill kill kill
that is all humans are good for is death and destruction
but that is okay
because to exist without meaning is far worse then death
and the world will cry for those that are abandoned
ding-dong ding-dong
the church bells ring
the bells of the night and the forest
those who believe are drawn to it
those who don't are damned too hell
tick TIck TICK
goes the clock
the god damned never ending clock of time
the clock that ticks away the time of lives
those who believe meld it into their hearts,
a way of reaching divinity and do not fear
those of us who do not,
fear the destruction of our existence,
our names ceasing to exist
another casualty of the war that is life
the war that is wrought from the decay and the utter
HUMANNESS
sob sob sob
the voices of the children
to weak to hear by normal ears but just loud enough
just barely loud enough to screech
screech with an inhuman sound that fills the earth
but humans are deaf to it
and humans cannot be helped
bang bAng BANG
the guns shoot
never ending death
DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH
THE DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD AT HAND!
STAND UP AND FIGHTING FOR THE JUSTICE!
WHAT JUSTICE IS THERE WHEN THE WORLD'S SHOT TO SHIT?!
boom BOom BOOM
EXPLODING ON THE INSIDE
INSECURITIES CAUSING THE DEATH AND DECAY!
GOD STRIKE DOWN THE CRIMINALS
AND RELEASE US FROM THE SHACKLES OF FEAR
-silence-
God....god cannot save us from him
god cannot even save us from ourselves
ACCEPTANCE

Devious Journal Entry

2007-11-14T21:06:21Z

" i support kira " stamp by ~polaralex on deviant ART

+ LxL Stamp Entry -edit- + by =Kini-Kinoku on deviant ART

^^

SHould I?

2007-05-05T14:58:37Z

should I write a fanfiction here? I'm tempted to but I might not be able to update all that quickly >.>

blac_rainfall @ 2006-10-03T18:08:00

2006-10-03T22:30:07Z

Worst Couples Evar!!!

1) Mickey/Riku
2)Riku/Donald
3)Riku/Goofy
4)Sora/Goofy
5)Sora/Donald
6)Sora/Mickey

WTF is wrong with these? Do I even need to explain why this is wrong?